Testosterone I wish I had a level of testosterone that would extend my clitoris by 4500 metres and would form at the tip of a cannon ready to fire, at the drop of a hat, cannonballs with a ginormous diameter, (each) weighing 6,900 kilos, capable of crushing the small flabby mammals hidden at the bottom of the crotch of all these gentlemen. So I would be(come) the only remaining sexual being. Not counting women who don’t count. And perhaps I would have the honour with this weapon to clear a narrow path through you and to lose myself in the dark corridors of your labyrinth and bring you death to depths of your backside.

Je ne veux rien faire I don’t want to resist Je veux me laisser faire I want you to insist, on seducing me Me laisser defaire I want to become initiated, to experience Par ton savoir faire your know-how, your experience Je sera bien sage I’ll be good as gold Polie comme une image Just as in your imagination Qui dans tes mains exquises Waiting to be spoiled, waiting to be soiled En mille morceaux se brise by your exquisite hands Je veux que tu me choques I want you to shock me Par tes mots cuits et crus With your words so crude and crass Que tu m’entrechoques To excite me, to bang me Jusqu’au fond de mon… Right up my… Accroche-moi la lune Make the earth move Je veux me sentir pleine I want to feel fulfilled Que tu me replumes I want you to (re)fill me Que tu m’envoies au ciel (To) take me to paradise Je veux bien voler en éclats Don’t just thrill me, Si c’est en éclats de joie Make sure I’m elated, totally satiated Je veux bien me fendre en deux I’ll bend over backwards for you Pourvu que ce soit dans tes yeux If that’s what’s on your mind Je serai bonne élève I’ll be your perfect student Vois comme je decolle See how well I’m learning Tu seras mon Humbert You’ll be my Humbert Humbert Ma première heure de colle Give me my first detention Et serrée contre toi Pay me close attention , hold me tight Pour mieux m’anéantir Make me totally surrender, to you Je serai toute à toi I’ll be all yours Jusqu’au dernier soupir Forever, until the end of time Je veux bien voler en éclats Don’t just thrill me, Si c’est en éclats de joie Make sure I’m elated, totally satiated Je veux bien me fendre en deux I’ll bend over backwards for you Pourvu que ce soit dans tes yeux If that’s what’s on your mind

Allô Hello A l’eau de vie To just a sip Juste une gorgée of Brandy En vous attendant Whilst I’m waiting for you Allô Hello Halo de lumière Halo of light Tout autour du lit Above Celui des amants This lovers’ bed Allô Hello Suis à l’hôtel I’m at the hotel Chambre 215 Room 215 Vous en mettez What’s keeping du temps you ? Allô Hello A l’eau de Chanel To Chanel (No.5) Pour tout vêtement It’s all I’ve got on Allô Hello Allô j’ai froid Hello, I’m getting cold Que faites-vous ? What are you up to ? Je m’impatiente My patience is wearing thin Allô Hello Vous me plantez là You bastard Espèce de salaud You’ve left me in the lurch Vous manquez d’élégance You’ve got no class Allô Hello Allô Hello Près du combiné Next to the receiver Mes yeux coulent à flot I’m in floods of tears

Ta bite Your Cock  Dans le creux de ma main I hold it, in the palm of my hand Comme un oiseau fragile Clutch it gently, Je la serre, je la tiens Like a tiny bird Lui offre une coquille Offer shelter I Pour abriter son corps To this nestling De petit volatile with my shell La voilà qui m’implore Restlessly, Qui se fait indocile Imploringly Ses ailes se déploient It spreads its wings Pour perforer le ciel To pierce the sky Elle éclate de joie Bursting with joy Va baiser le soleil It’s off to kiss the sunshine, Dénicher ses rayons Explore those radiant petals, Ses pétales insolites of the sun Fière comme un paon (It’s) Proud as a peacock Ta bite Your cock Ta bite (Snug) Inside me Ta bite Your cock M’habite Your cock Ta bite est une reine Your cock is like a king Dont je suis la servante Whom I serve Dans des poses obscènes Posing obscenely De vierge décadente Like a wanton virgin Je lui offre son trône I offer up all my little holes Par tous mes petits trous Which become its throne Vois comme elle est grandiose Behold its majesty Dans l'écrin de mes joues Craddled in my mouth Elle vient comme une vague like a wave breaking on the shore Me livrer son écume Its foam breaks forth S'échoue sur le rivage In the consummation De nos amours posthumes Of our love Dans le creux de ma main In the palm of my hand Elle se recroqueville It ebbs away Et tout doucement s'éteint And ever so gently expires Ta bite Your cock Ta bite (Snug) Inside me Ta bite Your cock M'habite Your cock Enfouie dans son feuillage Tucked away in its foliage Comme dans un nid douillet As though in a cosy nest Mon oisillon sauvage My wild fledgeling A la chair froissée Has wrinkly, shrivelled skin Soudain comme le Phoenix Suddenly, like a Phoenix De ses cendres renait It rises from the ashes Et revoilà ta bite Here it is Ressuscitée Your cock revived (resuscitated) Ta bite Your cock Ta bite Your cock M'habite (Snug) Inside me

My Womb is a Tomb Inside My womb My womb is a tomb You open the wound You hollow out another world In my (secret) inner depths My womb is a tomb In my (secret) inner depths I let you roam Unrestricted, so far, so far I am a bottomless, endless well From whence I call to you I call to you I call to you I call to you I call to you Ahoy Where are you? Come closer to my wound Come and curl up deep inside And inject your sacred venom Inside My lacerated womb The branches are breaking The marshes are maroon My womb is a tomb Will-o’-the-wisp The forest is aflame (?) My womb is a tomb Will-o’-the-wisp Come closer to my wound Inject your venom My womb A thousand hecatombs fail ( / foiled?) A thousand hecatombs fail on its walls ( /foiled by(?) its walls ?) My womb is a tomb I think of all those premature deaths I think of them all Come and mourn the dead on my womb Come and mourn the dead with me Come and mourn the dead With me

Je fais l’amour avec des morts I make love with the dead Je fais l’amour avec des fantômes du passé I make love with ghosts of the past Je fais l’amour avec des ex s’excusent de m’avoir jetée I make love with former lovers who Are sorry they rejected me Je fais l’amour pour les garder I make love to keep them Pour ne pas voir que le présent est vide To avoid seeing my present emptiness Je fais l’amour pour supporter I make love so I can bear Cette existence insipide The insipidness of (this) existence Pour me sentir un peu aimée To get an inkling of what it means to be loved Pour un simulacre d’intimité To experience a semblance of intimacy Pour emmerder la solitude To piss off loneliness Tromper l’ennui et l’inquiétude (To) cheat worry and world weariness Je fais l’amour par désespoir I make love out of despair Je fais l’amour sans rien attendre I make love without expecting anything Je fais l’amour sans trop y croire I make love without really believing in it Cliniquement nue indifférente clinically naked(ly) indifferent(ly) Je fais l’amour pour faire quelque chose I make love to have somthing to do Pour avoir l’impression d’être une autre To feel as though I’m someone else Avoir l’impression d’être une femme To feel like a woman A coup de reins à coup de lames Thrusting dementedly Je fais l’amour comme une ivrogne I make love like a drunkard Pour être saoule pour être bonne To become drunk, to become good Je fais l’amour comme une charogne I make love like a bitch Je fais l’amour pour oublier I make love to forget Je fais l’amour pour oublier I make love to forget Je fais l’amour pour oublier I make love to forget

Je ne suis pas dépressive It’s not that I’m depressed Je suis une aventurière What I am is an adventuress Si je tangue, si je chavire If I list, if I capsize, Au moindre petit courant d’air In the slightest little breeze Ce n’est pas pour me noyer It is not to drown myself Dans une goutte In a drop of water au fond d’un verre At the bottom of some glass Mais pour explorer It’s to explore Le fond des mers The limits of the sea Je ne suis pas dépressive It’s not that I’m depressed Je navigue en sous-marin I’m travelling discretely En voyageuse clandestine beneath the ocean waves, Dans des profondeurs sans fin Exploring endless depths below Je sillonne les eaux troubles I’m bobbing up and down in waters that are murky, Énumère les naufrages Making notes of shipwrecks, Tout doucement coule Sinking slowly,gently , Et dérive, Je divague Drifting aimlessly along Je ne suis pas dépressive It’s not that I’m depressed Je recherche l’or du temps I’m searching for time’s gold ; Les trésors de l’eau vive For diamonds and black pearls, Les perles noires, Les diamants For the treasure in the flowing waters Je caresse les astres rouges I’m caressing ruddy stars and Et les soleils mouillés moist and misty suns Dans les algues folles de ma psyché in the wild seaweed(s) of my mind Je ne suis pas dépressive It’s not that I’m depressed Si je pleure, me désespère If I cry, If I despair C’est que mes It’s that the Espoirs sont grands Earth’s too tiny Que trop petite est la terre For my great desires to bear Je m’en vais donc les combler So, I’m off to realize my dreams Loin dans d’autres galaxies In distant galaxies, elsewhere Je ne reviendrais Intending to return, Que dans une prochaine vie When I can live the life for which I yearn

Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning’ Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning A 7H53 At 7.53 Le ciel comme un linceul The sky spread itself S’est étendu sur moi over me like a shroud Je t’atttends en jarretelles I’m waitng for you in suspenders Dans la salle de bains In the bathroom Je voulais me faire belle I wanted to look beautiful Mais voilà qui est en vain Alas it’s all in vain Quand tu me trouveras When you discover me Au pied du lavabo At the foot of the basin Je t’en prie sois délicat Please be gentle Ne me regarde pas trop Don’t stare at me too long C’est que la mort mon amour (It’s just that)death my love M’a rendue si pudique Has filled me with such modesty Que tes yeux sur mon corps That your eyes on my body Sont deux coups de canif Feel like two tiny knife wounds Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning A 7H53 At 7.53 Le ciel comme un chagrin The sky like grief S’est écroulé sur moi Overwhelmed me S’il te plait, promets-moi Please promise De ne pas me bruler You won’t have me cremated De ne pas me jeter You won’t have me Dans le grand océan Buried at sea Redonne-moi à la terre Return me to the earth Et à l’œuvre du temps Let nature take its course Laisse-moi me faner Let me wither Viens me fleurir souvent Come often to make me bloom Et puis viens me rejoindre And when it’s time Quand ce sera le moment Come and be reunited with me Je t’ai gardé une place I’ve saved you a space Près de moi, je t’attends Right next to me, I’m waiting for you Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning Le ciel comme un chagrin The sky like grief Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning Le ciel comme un chagrin The sky like grief Je suis morte ce matin I died this morning

Lorsque mes dents se déchausseront When my teeth are all falling out Que je trainerai ma journée en chaussons When I drag myself around in slippers all day Que mes yeux auront bu tellement d’images When my eyes will have taken in so much Qu’ils s’enfonceront très loin dans leurs orbites That they will have sunk deep into their sockets pour y méditer In order to ponder all they’ve seen Lorsque je sèmerai mes cheveux par poignées When my hair is falling out in clumps Mes souvenirs fourchu mon passé délavé My memories unclear, my past eroded Et qu’étrangement mes poils commenceront à pousser When stubble begins to grow haphazardly Comme la mousse sur la pierre partout sur mon visage Covering my face like moss a stone Lorsque mes seins dégringoleront par terre When my sagging breasts start rolling Rouleront comme des billes molles sur le marbre froid Like squidgy balls on the cold marble floor Et que mes pieds malhabiles se prendront dedans And my unsteady feet make me stumble and fall Jusqu’à me faire tomber, moi aussi, en lambeaux de chair éparpillés My body scattered on the Floor like strips of flesh Lorsque les pièces de mon corps seront rouillées When the parts of my body are all rusted up Et que plus aucun mécanicien ne pourra les remettre en état And no mechanic can repair them Ce jour où tout sera absolument foutu pour moi, alors The day when my body is totally fucked up M’aimeras-tu encore ? Will you still love me, will you still love me, then ?

I make ‘underground’ music for a few random spectators and God knows how soul-destroying it is when you’re doe-eyed and dressed to the nines in sequins and no-one comes to see you perform in a grotty little room on ‘Boulevard Cichy’, where the beer sticks to the soles of your shoes. And to think that the previous day I was handing out flyers for 7 euros an hour dressed as a hamburger in the very same boulevard packed with would-be bohemians. I looked ridiculous, but funnily enough, one’s got to eat. Do you really think I have the luxury of being a rebel whilst telling the men in suits to piss off? Yet that’s precisely what I did do. As a result I made no progress for the next two years and ended up weighing 38 kilos. But I wrote some lovely songs; so all-in-all it was worth it. But I couldn’t just carry on losing weight indefinitely. It doesn’t help one’s creativity either. You reach a certain stage when you don’t even have the strength to sing anymore. The body needs nourishment. So now I’m less of a smart-ass. I’ve gone back to the hamburger costume; I’m gradually regaining weight and going back to my writing. It means compromising one’s art. But what can I do? Everyone is turning me away. ‘Sorry Miss, you’re really cute but what you’ve got to do is write lyrics that are less crazy, less obscure, less tawdry; and much blander, you see? Blandness is what people want. It means no-one feels uncomfortable, everyone is happy’. And to think that all it would take for people to start listening to good music is for the Government to stop rubbish being broadcast. Think of Léo Ferré who was recognised so late in his career. Think about Vincent Van Gogh, who only achieved fame after his death, having struggled all his life whilst those who sold his work lined their pockets. I’m grandiose enough to believe that artists are here to change the world and that by turning their creative art into something gentler and more conformist, in order to make it more accessible, they taint, what should always remain pure. Always. It should never become perverted by the desire for recognition, nor the desire for money. Being an artist is not a profession it’s a state of mind. If this brings with it recognition or wealth, so much the better, but the artist should in no way chase after these. Artists must continue to stay absolutely true to their art; they must remain single-minded; ensuring that their creations will appeal to the perfect admirer of their work, even if that someone may only exist in their own mind.
 And to think that all it would take for people to start listening to good music is for the Government to stop rubbish being broadcast. Think of Léo Ferré who was recognised so late in his career. Think about Vincent Van Gogh, who only achieved fame after his death, having struggled all his life whilst those who sold his work lined their pockets. And what if the world was full of similar artists, who were never discovered? How many thwarted dreamers are there in the world? How many masterpieces have been aborted because they’ve landed on the desk of an Artistic Director with a diploma in business studies? How many artistic murders have there been? How many?

Hello,darling Heart emoji How’s it going? Smile emoji What are you up to? Wink emoji What, no reply? Sad emoji At 00.32 Mister Flex sent you a poke Would you like to send him a poke, too? No! Oi, darling! I see that you’ve blocked me. That’s not very nice. Lucky for me, I’ve got another account which I can use to talk to you. I’d like to become one of your friends. Oh, go on, pleeese! I’m not trying to hit on you. I know there are some weirdos lurking about here. But don’t worry; I just want to chat with you a bit. Wink emoji I just want to chat with you a bit. Smile emoji Heart emoji Wink emoji Smile emoji Kiki emoji Oh shit, I didn’t realise you were a singer! I googled your name and came across the video of ‘Ta bite’ (Your cock). I found it on YouTube - it made my day! That really took some guts – No kidding! You’re really very talented. Seriously ballsy. No pun intended! Wink emoji I’d really love you to worship my dick, like that. Would you like to take care of it for a bit? It’s so lovely and sensitive, just like you. Would you like to get acquainted with it? I’m sure you’d get on splendidly I shaved my pubes this morning. Good timing, eh? How about you. What’s your little pussy like? Heart emoji Wink emoji Smile emoji Kiki emoji Hey, you’re not very chatty are you….You think you’re too good for me; Is that it? I can see how, with your measly 3000 ‘likes’ bought cheaply on scofylike.com, You might think your sorry little ass is far too good for the likes of me Forgive me; I was a bit of a knob last night! I said some things I didn’t mean. I was a bit pissed. I hope we can put it behind us Unsure emoji Sad emoji Squint emoji Cry emoji Are you sulking? Have you really got the hump? God, how thin-skinned all you artists are! You see, I thought you were different – how wrong I was. You’re just like all the rest You and your navel, that’s all that matters (to you) Well, I’ve had it (up to here) with you. To tell the truth I’ve got better things to do than waste my time talking to a stupid bitch like you You’re nothing but a pathetic, pretentious, self-absorbed Parisian would- be-Bohemian with an overinflated ego You think you’re going to revolutionise music with your crappy, soporific, anti-mainstream bullshit? It’s just about good enough as a jingle for some dog food advert No-one gives a toss about you Go back to where you came from Go and crawl under some rock and die You filthy cunt Heart emoji Wink emoji Smile emoji Kiki emoji 



C’est en marche It’s under way Tout va disparaitre Everything will disappear Tout Everything Depuis les premiers hommes Everything that ever existed La locomotive Seguin Seguin’s steam locomotive L’obéissante d’Amédée Bollée Amédée Bollée’s steam vehicle Le flyer des frères Wright The ‘Wright Flyer’ L’experimental Breeder Reactor The experimental Breeder Reactor La tour Eiffel The Eiffel tower Le disque de Nipkow The Nipkow disk Le Minitel The Minitel Le Macintosh 128K The Apple Mackintosh (128K) La micro-onde The microwave oven Les OGM Genetically modified food Les pesticides Pesticides Le cancer Cancer Tout va disparaitre Everything will disappear Tout Everything Liquidation totale Everything will be gone Les Tournesols de Van Gogh Van Gogh’s ‘Sunflowers’ Les Fleurs du Mal The ‘Flowers of Evil’ Les champs des coquelicots Poppy fields La Mémoire et la mer ‘Memory and the sea’ Les quatre saisons The four seasons Le chant des grillons Crickets chirping Le sourire des chiens The smile of dogs Le rire des enfants The laughter of children Tes doigts sur ma nuque Your fingers on the nape of my neck Tes baisers fruits Your fruit-flavoured kisses L’odeur de l’amour Love’s fragrance Tout va disparaitre Everything will disappear Tout Everything C’est en marche It’s under way Et l’on s’agite encore And we carry on Comme si de rien était As if nothing was happening Pendant les soldes At the sales Devant Facebook On Facebook Au supermarché At the supermarket Dans les carrés VIP From the top of a tower En haut d’une tour In Squares where VIPs live Dans un costard cravate Dressed in a tie and suit Dans un vernissage At the opening of an exhibition Gavés de petits fours Stuffed full of small pastries Tout va disparaitre Everything will disappear Tout Everything C’est en marche It’s under way Et on ne fait rien And we do nothing On ne peut rien faire There’s nothing we can do Juste attendre que ça passe Except to wait for it to happen Confortablement installé Sitting comfortably au fond d’un Clic-Clac Ikéa on an IKEA sofabed En regardant Secret Story Watching Secret Story Une canette de Coca à la main Holding a can of Coke Tout va disparaitre Everything will disappear Tout Everything C’est en marche It’s under way C’est pour bientôt It’s coming (very) soon

A mon tendre et cher disparu To my dear and tender departed Sorti trop tôt de ma pupille Taken from me (all) too soon Maintenant que je ne te vois plus Now I can no longer see you Je bricole dans mes souvenirs I rummage through my memories A ta tendre chair étendue To your soft laid out skin Dans laquelle j’aimais me blottir Against which I loved to nestle Maintenant que je ne te sens plus Now I can no longer feel you Je mets tes jeans et tes chemises I put on your shirts and Jeans Mon exquis cadavre My exquisite corpse Qui somnole dans la terre Slumbering in the ground Où poussent les fleurs du mal where the flowers of evil grow Que j’arrose que j’arrose que j’arrose tended by my tears tended by my tears tended by my tears A mon tendre et cher inconnu To my dear and tender stranger Qui murmurait près de mon cœur who whispered close to my heart Maintenant que je ne t’entends plus Now that I can no longer hear you Je mets en boucle ton répondeur I play your recorded (‘phone) message, endlessly A ta tendre chair putride To your soft decaying flesh Qui sentait si bon le tabac Which smelt so strongly, so Beautifully of tobacco Maintenant que tu n’es plus là Now you’re no longer here Je fume des gauloises sans filtre I smoke Gauloises without a filter tip Mon exquis cadavre My exquisite corpse Qui somnole dans la terre Slumbering in the ground Où poussent les fleurs du mal Where the flowers of evil grow Que j’arrose que j’arrose que j’arrose Tended by my tears tended by my tears tended by my tears

Où est le soleil ? Where is the sun ? Aujourd’hui le soleil a disparu Today the sun has disappeared L’a-t-on décroché du ciel ? Has it been taken (down) from the sky? S’est-il brulé ? Has it burnt itself out? La terre sans lui est tout nue Without it the earth is totally naked Où est-il ? Where is it ? Où est le soleil ? Where is the sun Je l’ai cherché dans mes désirs I searched for it in my desires Dans mes cahiers, dans mes cheveux In my books, in my hair Dans mes sanglots et dans mes rires In my tears and in my laughter Et dans mes oranges toutes bleues And in my oranges completely blue Où est-il ? Where is it ? Où est le soleil ? Where is the sun ? Que fait-il  What is it De ses rayons de miel ? Doing with its honey rays ? En entendant le clapotis de l’eau Hearing the lapping of the water J’ai trempé mes pieds Soaking my feet Les poissons-chats semblaient tout chauds The catfish seemed all warm C’est alors que j’ai plongé So I dived (in) Il est là There it is Il est là le soleil The sun is there Dans la mer It’s drowned itself Il s’est noyé In the sea Il est là There it is Il est là le soleil The sun is there Dans la mer I’ve found it Je l’ai retrouvé In the sea

Oestrogen I would like to have a level of oestrogen which, during the night, would inflate my tiny little breasts, turning them into two hot air balloons so proud and imperious that they would soar higher than the sun, caressing it on the way, before reaching the point of no return from whence the world, in all its splendour, looks like a puny Polly Pocket toy. So I would be the Mother of the whole Universe; a universe, which, suckling on my impudent and regal teats, would become intoxicated from their syrupy nectar before climbing over my celestial body, dozing drowsily there, the flowery liquid at the edge of its lips, encompassed by ecstasy. There, I would slowly gyrate my two orbiting planets and cradle all the living beings in the galaxy, who would awaken in the morning amidst curious chirping, their skin still coated in the mushiness of dreams, that I would bathe in my clouds of milk, wherein flying fish and swimming birds would splash about jauntily. The whole of life would swarm around my astral protrusions and I would scatter on them seeds from which giant baobab trees would grow, tearing the sky; and these would provide fruit for the stars and the stars would devour them apart from the seeds which they would spit out onto my soil from which other baobab trees would spring up. This is how the mammary diaspora across all the continents of my expanding body would occur, relentlessly pushing back the boundaries of space in order to welcome, onto my body, into my body all these new inhabitants.

Texte : Circé Deslandes Traduction : Daniel Gysin